~*LaDy ÅnGe|e*~

Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale, if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary person with not a care in the world… somebody lied.

It’s the week-end and I should have been happy and excited. But for some reasons I’m not. I’ve been feeling weird for a couple of days and I’m not sure I can even put a name on what’s bothering me. Somehow it feels like everything is changing so rapidly around me and I’m the only person standing still. Everything is different and yet, deep down it’s the same old story.

*sigh*

I guess that once you’ve been through hell, you never forget what the flames felt like. No matter how hard you try to hide your hurt, your anger and your pain, someday one little thing comes up and hits you so hard that you’re instantly reminded of the plain cold reality.

I realized that I had just entered a new chapter in my life. I have lost faith and I have stopped to believe in myself. I thought I was alright but I was probably just fooling my heart. And the saddest part? I have been living with this in me for so long that somehow it has become a distinct part of who I am.

Sometimes it’s easier to smile and pretend everything is fine than to explain the confusion and the emptiness in my heart…

*current music playing, “You’re still you” from Josh Groban*

I always feel downhearted when listening to Josh Groban’s songs. I remember when I first heard his songs a few years ago… I was lying in bed and at some point I got sad and depressed and there were big tears rolling down my cheeks.. o_O

Personally I think Groban’s songs are beautiful and his voice is very soothing. But I believe the reason why I get so emotional whenever I listen to his songs is that I am particularly moved by the lyrics. All of his songs’ lyrics, they seem to touch me deep in my heart.

*sigh*

Have you noticed that some songs seem to have been written just for you? You relate to the lyrics and to the emotion being conveyed through the song. You actually see yourself in the whole story. If you think of it, you can even describe the outlines of some important moments of your life by those songs that have touched you so deeply.

So tell me, what are those songs that have moved you in one way or the other?

On a more depressing note, the week-end is already over . I can only wish you all a great week ahead hoping the days will fly very very fast!

Back when I was a little girl I used to believe in fairy tales. I imagined a perfect life with all the people I loved. I thought one day prince charming would step into my world and turned it upside down. I just wanted a happy ending like in the books and romantic movies. It’s amazing because when you’re a kid, you see the life you want and it never crosses your mind that it might not turn out that way. The point is, now I’ve learned that some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end.

Today I see the world with different eyes. The more days I live, the more I realize that not everything in life can stay. Some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance, but eventually those days have their sunsets too. Everything changes and suddenly people you think will always be there, they disappear. They move away. They die.

I remember so vividly a day in December 2002 when my whole reality gave out on me. I lost the one man who saw me grew up, who taught me to smile even through rainy days. What happened to me when I lost my dad was that everything fell apart. All the ways I shield myself, all the ways I delude myself, all the ways I maintain my well polished image - all of it fell apart. My whole world went down. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t control the situation. It was so painful that I wondered if I would ever be happy again.

Still there are moments in my life that, when added together make up the reason I have become who I am today. I have done things. Some I wish I had never done, some I wish I could replay a million times in my head. But today they make me who I am and in the end, those experiences shape every detail about me. If I were to reverse any of them, I wouldn’t be at the exact place that I am now.

*yawnZzZzzz*

I just woke up from a nap. The funny thing is that the moment I put my head on the pillow I instantly fell asleep! I was up till very late last night and I felt so sleepy today. So yeah I definitely needed that afternoon nap! If only I could have stayed in bed for a few more hours. Oh boy, I’m so lazy.

So anyway, like I said, I went to bed quite late the previous night. I had a headache and I went to lie down but I couldn’t sleep! Arghhh! [oh yeah and about my insomnia problem, it’s not as bad as it was. At least now I can sleep a few hours at night!] After some time I got bored and eventually I came back on the computer to watch some tv shows I downloaded. And yes! Gossip Girl and Grey’s anatomy have finally resumed. Yayyy!!! I was feeling kinda lonely without some of my favorite shows.

*wink*

And once again the end of this week’s episodes kept me wanting more! I guess there’s nothing much to do except be a good girl and patiently wait for next week’s episode.

*deep sigh*

On another note, it’s the week-end already! And like we would all agree, caturday Saturday and Sunday are serious businesses.

Wish you all a nice and relaxed week-end.

You’ve got mail.

*open*

-__-

Grrrr. Some stupid chain letters!

Over the years I have received quite a few chain letters, from the absurd and foolish letters to the more threatening ones. But there are some types of letters that really get on my nerves!!! I shall be sharing them with you today because if I don’t, something very bad might happen to me in the next hour! Mwahahhaa!!!

Chain Letter Type 1

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Make a wish!!!
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Really, go on and make one!!!
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Oh please, they’ll NEVER go out with you!!!
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Wish something else!!!
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Not that, you pervert!!
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Are your fingers getting tired yet?
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STOP!!!!
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Wasn’t that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty, here’s what I’ll do. First of all, if you don’t send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It’s true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn’t like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!

Here’s how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending him/her a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*20 to 674, 951 1/2 people: 20 to 674, 951 1/2 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

~**~

Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen (huh? say that again??) who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy’s life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out.
Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder-if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!

~**~

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 1,5067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

Queer Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.

This Could Happen To YOU!!!

Queer Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.

This Could Happen To You!!!

Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be OK.

~**~

Chain Letter Type 4

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends

-A friend is an angel, someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re disgustingly ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you’ve soiled yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser life,
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn’t speak much English, no sorry that’s the cleaning lady,
-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of his crush doing the nasty with him to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don’t you’ll never be able to have sex ever again!

~**~

And there are people who think that chain letters could actually work?! o.O Would you call that plain stupidity? *hremm*

I am not among those people, so pleaseeeee no more chain letters in my inbox!

There’s nothing better than a bowl of soup to warm the heart and satisfy your stomach when you don’t feel like eating heavy meals. I like all kinds of soup, from the simple chicken soup to the more fulfilling vegetables and meat soups. But one of my favorites of all time remains the wantan soup.

Honestly I think that home-made wantans are the very best. It’s quite a nuisance when it comes to wrap them but once you get started, it usually goes very quickly.

See the plate full of uncooked wantans? I wrap them all by myself! There’s around 50 or more wantans. And no I didn’t gulp all the 50+ wantans! No matter how much I love wantan soup I think a bowl of 10 is enough… at least for me!

So this is what I had for dinner today.

Delicious wantan soup made by … me!

*slurp*

Some people sure know how to piss me off. But the thing is, while doing so they are also making complete fools of themselves and showing how pathetic and insecure they are. They so badly want to put you down that they would do and say anything just to make sure it targets you where it hurts the most. But I never thought people could actually stoop so low. Can’t they see they’re being weak? Everything they say is so dark and shallow.

I wonder why those people act this way. Maybe they have become bitter over certain things. Maybe they are resentful and they don’t know how to express their anger. Maybe they are evil and they enjoy others’ pain. So many reasons and yet only one determination in their sick minds. Revenge. I hear it’s best served cold, who’s hungry?

*You* maybe? Yes, you because I know you will be reading this. You know what? I might have been affected by what you did a long time ago but not anymore. I’m not hurt enough to hate you. That’s where you messed up. You were just playing a game from the very beginning to see how far you could push me without me breaking. But you screwed yourself because you went for the grand finale too soon. By that time I was already onto you. I can play mind games too you know?

Go get a life of your own because jealousy won’t keep you warm at night.

4.30 AM… I bet you guys are wondering what I am doing up so early. Truth is I never went to bed. Well actually I did go to lie in bed around 11 PM last night but I couldn’t sleep so I spent my time reading and reading… until I actually finished my book! Note to myself: Look for another book just in case another sleepless night is awaiting me today! I’m getting used to those long sleepless nights by now.

I attended Sha’s wedding on Friday evening. I thought she looked so beautiful in her wedding dress. But definitely there was something more to it. It was not just the dress, the hairdo and the make-up. She had that lovely smile and she was glowing with happiness. It showed all over her face. One of her most precious dreams finally came true. She found that special someone she’s going to spend the rest of her life with. A new page of her life is being written as from now on… Happily ever after…

I have no photos of the wedding. My purse was way too small for the camera to fit in and since I didn’t want to walk around with it in my hands, I simply left the camera at home! *cough cough*

But that’s ok ’cause I have other photos for you. Well they may not be as exciting as wedding pics but they’re cute anyway *lol*

I snapped those photos last Monday. It was a holiday and I was feeling quite bored. So here we go…

These are some of my birds.

They are budgerigars to be exact. I have a small aviary in the garden and we started out with 4 birds. One of the females became a mommy a few weeks ago- she was in the nursing box with her baby birds- and that’s why you can only see 3 of the birdies.

Ginger likes posing so she wouldn’t miss the photo shooting.

And this one is Bill.

Bill is a male griffon. Just look at his mischievous hairy face! *lol*

Ginger and Bill do not always  get along. Ginger is quite the jealous type and she doesn’t like it when Bill sneaks around. But lately I’ve noticed that Gin is more tolerant with Bill. Maybe she’s getting used to have him around. Or she’s just fed up chasing after poor Bill all the time! Mwahahhaaa!!!

*yawnzzzzz* I think I should get some sleep. It’s almost dawn and I’m going to bed now O_o

Have a lovely week-end people.

Once again I realize that time flies so quickly. This afternoon I got a call from one of my closest friends.

Me: Hello?

Friend: Hiii Angele. Guess what. I have some great news!

Me: Yeah? What is it?

Friend: I’m getting married!!!

Me: Uhhh? When?

Friend: On Friday!

Me: *gasp* Whatttt?!!! This Friday?! How come you only tell me now?!

Friend: I know… I’m such a terrible friend! But everything went in a rush and even I can’t realize I’m actually getting married in a few days! I’m so excited. You have to be there on Friday, ok? I know it’s short notice but you have to come at any cost. ”

Me: Wow. I can’t believe this! Of course I’m going to be there. I won’t miss that! Congratulations! I’m so happy for you…”

*Bla bla bla* The phone conversation lasted for a few more minutes and then we hung up.

I was in some kind of thoughtful mood after her call. I knew she was engaged but the announcement of her wedding took me completely by surprise… especially that she’s getting married this week! I couldn’t help but think about our high school years when we met for the first time. We took mathematics tuition together and we befriended instantly. We hanged out a lot together. We confided in each other and shared secrets. She became one of my best friends.

After high school, we both went our separate ways for further studies and though we didn’t meet everyday like we used to, we still kept in touch. She went to live in UK for some time and that’s when we sort of lost track of each other. But last year while I was doing some shopping I bumped into her! I was like: “Omg! Is that you?! I thought you were still in UK!” She hugged me and instantly we started to talk like the good old days. It was as if those years of separation never existed. She told me she just arrived in Mauritius a few days ago. When she called on my cellphone to let me know she was no more in UK, she couldn’t get through. Obviously. I changed my number and she only had the old one. And she got the answering machine while trying my home phone number but left no messages. We sounded like kids again! Gossiping and laughing out loud. We had so much to catch up.

Since then, we’ve been seeing each other on and off and calling regularly. Because we both have our own stuff now we don’t meet as often as we used to. But when we get together it’s like nothing has changed. We have grown up for sure, each one of us experiencing ups and downs but the friendship and the bond we once shared still remain.

I’ve known her for years… She came to me in tears when she had her very first heartbreak. I cried on her shoulder when I lost my father. We wept and laughed together for so many years. And now, she’s finally getting married. Oh my god, where does that leave me? *lol* Those school years seem so far away!

I am really happy for my friend. And I feel very excited too. Yet this is not my wedding! Hahaha!!! But I felt like jumping up and down when she told me the good news! Must be the crazy me coming to the surface again! Anyway, this is a new beginning for her… and new beginnings are always filled with promises. From the bottom of my heart I wish her happiness and love always. She deserves it so much.

Congratulations Sha!